In reading through your take on things, I found this point particularly interesting:

Rubin explains on 1671 that “marriages are the most basic forms of gift exchange in which it is a women who are the most precious gift” As much as I agree with Rubins ideas I just feel that as each generation passes these traditional views of women will be ancient history. Even though these ideas may be passed own from mother to daughter, with easier access to the rest of the world the ideas have no chance of surviving.

Can I just point out a contradiction in what you said? If traditional ideas are passed from mother to daughter, how can that be thoroughly conquered by having access to the rest of the world, particularly when the world view inherently holds similar or more damaging values?

Yes, there are exceptions to the rule, people rebel and stand up for change. In our country, women finally got the vote, we were awarded choice when it came to our bodies, and, in most cases, we are no longer kept barefoot and pregnant. Still, women hit the glass ceiling in pay, earning less than men while doing the same job. Debate about family planning has now moved into the realm of Pharmacists denying women birth control and the trend is growing. Just recently, a man at the Wal-Mart Pharmacy laughed at a woman asking for Plan B as he denied it to her. Churches are still appalled at the idea of women preaching, an idea expressly carried over from Medieval times. In light of these issues, are we really moving so far ahead?

Sure, things are better, but so much lingers. If the US, one of the most progressive countries tackling inequalities for women has a long way to go, where do we look for outside inspiration? Europe is about the only country with fewer hang-ups about sexuality but they too have their problems. Otherwise, places like the Middle East, Africa, the Orient, and many others are deeply entrenched in the dichotomy of inequality, the residual byproduct of the cultural history Rubin pointed out.

The problem is that these residual ideas are so prevalent and unquestioned that we live them without seeing. Hop on over to my Rubinesque reading of my wedding if you get the chance. I was surprised to see how much I thought I questioned, only to find that I was simply reinforcing the idea. Ritual is certainly one way to mold a blind society into a reproductive machine, perpetuating norms that don’t reflect current realities.

And don’t worry, I’m not going to exterminate you because you’re a man. By experiencing no assault on your identity, it’s only natural to have so little understanding of how it feels. Unfortunately, for this exact reason, a male dominated society won’t shift until women topple it. You’re probably safe for awhile. They won’t manage it until they question it, not as small pockets of protesters and activist, but as one mass collective.

-Kim